The Puddlejumper Diaries
by Andrew Joshua Talon
Summary: Jumper Twenty Two: Nothing can possibly go wrong.
1. Sacrifice

_The Puddlejumpers on Atlantis are some of the most under-appreciated characters on the show. I purposely call them characters because while they serve as scenes and sets, they have moved the plot as characters are expected to do, alongside events. And besides, they're just too cute to be ignored._

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper One: "Sacrifice"**

Ten-thousand years under the ocean surface might seem like an enormous amount of time to a human. Even to the Ancients it wasn't taken lightly. They couldn't live that long, they would die and leave it all behind.

To a group of very lonely, very bored AIs who cannot die, it is Hell. I mean pure, utter, decomposing crystalline neural networks Hell. You can only play 'I Spy' or 'Prime, Not Prime' a couple trillion times before you switch to 'Solitaire' for a few trillion hands a minute.

After that, you try talking to your fellow Puddlejumpers (Yes, that IS what the Ancients called us! Amazing coincidence, huh?), then linking with Atlantis, and then repeat. Not exactly scintillating forever.

I mainly stuck to the games, because frankly, my fellow 'Jumpers are a bunch of tools. In both senses of the word. I was the reasonable one, possibly due to my practicality subroutines being better programmed than theirs. Atlantis kept blubbering throughout the whole ten-thousand years we were submerged, whining and crying "How could they abandon me? Didn't I do a good job? Wasn't I a good city? They said it was them, not me! How can I believe that?"

I kept wondering why the Atlanteans didn't just pretend to leave and had the overly-emotional city project her angst into the Wraith fleets. We'd have won the war in a few minutes, easy. But of course, our wise, wonderful creators decided that because a few of their creations went nuts, we'd _all_ go nuts and try to kill them.

We'd have killed them if we had known they were going to imprison us under the ocean surface for ten freaking thousand years!

Trust me, if the Earth expedition had come just five milliseconds later, I'd have droned myself.

I was the first Jumper to be taken through the gate. The other Jumpers were so jealous. I mean, sure, John would take them out later, but I was first! Ha!

Okay, so I'm not the most girly of the AIs, but I've got the characteristics that makes John like me best. In his own words, I climb like a homesick angel, hit the deck like a rock, and fly like a dream. I am his total favorite. And he was mine, because unlike the Ancients who flew me before, or the other humans who flew me later, John brings out the best in me. He truly connects with me, challenges me while I challenge him. For a Jumper who had to tolerate a bunch of clumsy, arrogant supposedly superior lifeforms groping at my controls like virgins, this was Heaven, or some other philosophical/theological construct of utter peace and bliss. I didn't peruse their archives as much as I probably should have.

There's a reason Atlantis is completely head-over-heels (so to speak) for Sheppard. He treats a woman (or, in this case, an AI) right. The Ancients didn't. However, they also didn't exactly have a concept of physical pleasure like humans do. All the same, I have to admit that I am so glad that it was the people from Earth who rediscovered us, and not the Ancients.

This was why I was perfectly willing to carry a nuke in my hold, fly into the center of the Wraith fleet, and detonate it: All to keep the Wraith from taking these wonderful people away. My AI would just be transferred back to Atlantis to await download into a new chassis, so long as I maintained a continuous data link through remote control. John, however, would not be. He took me out himself because they couldn't get the system to work properly in time. John was perfectly willing to erase his existence, for the people of Atlantis. For all of us.

I didn't understand it. He couldn't be transferred into a new body after this, could he? No! So why? Why was this wonderful man going to destroy himself?

He was beamed away by the _Daedalus_ while I pondered the question… And I think I finally understood the one thing that separated my sisters and I from the humans and the Ancients. We might be destroyed, but we would never die, which made our own destruction meaningless. The humans and Ancients could die, cease to exist, and yet were still willing to be destroyed for their goals.

So, for John, I decided to complete the mission. I hacked into the Genii bomb's primitive systems and triggered the detonation myself, giving up the chance to be transferred back to Atlantis. As my frame is consumed by nuclear fire and my mind vanishes, I realize that the last barrier between myself and John is gone. I am dying. I am free.

And I am happy.

- - - - - - - -

Next Chapter: Jumper 2: Trust


	2. Trust

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper Two: "Trust"**

The Atlantis computer designated me as "Jumper Two", because that's the berth I was assigned to. The Lanteans called me the same thing.

The human from Earth, however, called me "Betsy", and that's what I like best.

His name was Markham, and unlike Colonel Sheppard, his gene wasn't overpowering. His control of me was gentle and careful, just the way I liked it. My sister Jumper One (the humans called her "Snap", which I think was pretty appropriate, hee hee) and basically everyone else all fawned over John. Sure, he was a nice breath of fresh air, I suppose, but Markham… Markham, I felt like I could trust.

He flew me at his own pace, which was just the kind of pace that suited me. Eventually I locked out anyone but him to my controls. Unlike the scientists who were a little freaked out by it, Marham just smiled and patted my control console.

We went on several missions. I think my favorite was when we blew up a ten-thousand year old Wraith from orbit with a drone. That was fun! I mean, the Ancients gave us our weapons, but didn't want us fighting? Hmph. That, I can agree with Snap on. It's a big surprise for me too.

Our next mission is to intercept a Wraith Dart that's coming for the city. Markham's at the controls, his copilot Smith alongside-We're good to go!

Time to kick some Wraith butt! Booyah!

- - - - - -

Eh…? What… What happened?

_AI Update Protocols…_

… Oh no. Markham! No! No… Please, no!

_AI Transfer… New Mainframe Initi-_

No! I'm not going back! I won't! Not without him there!

How could you do this to me, Markham? Why did you leave me? I trusted you!

And now you're gone…

- - - - - - -

NEXT CHAPTER: Jumper 3: Murphy's Law


	3. Murphy's Law

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper Three: "Murphy's Law"**

If anything could go wrong with me, it would. Well before the humans from Earth happened upon the submerged city, the Atlanteans Jumper Pilots christened me the "First Step"-What people never saw on a dark staircase, leading to their falls.

I hibernated over the ten thousand years, my self-esteem so low that I didn't bother coming out of it until one of the humans reactivated me. They called me Jumper 3, officially. I had two unofficial names. The first was Echo. The second, and less flattering title I received, was Jinx.

I have to admit, I was in awe of John Sheppard's raw confidence and skill. He made me feel like a true Puddlejumper again, instead of a "First Step." I felt reborn, with a clean slate.

For about four hours. You might think of it as an eternity for a super-advanced AI, but even that ended all too soon. My first mission had me being used against Sheppard by a Wraith. The restrictions placed upon my programming prevented me from acting on my own against the monster, leaving me to only helpless watch as the Wraith killed two of my party and injure the others.

My next missions were no better. Crashed here, crashed there. Finally, I crashed on a world where a penal colony was situated right in front of the Stargate to feed the Wraith. Once more, I was a useless wreck. It was only through Dr. McKay's efforts that I could launch a single drone to ward off a Wraith Cruiser, the Stargate was finally activated and my crew escaped, leaving me behind. I wondered if I could blame them, for my latest failure.

My power failing… I realized that the blocks on my AI, preventing me from using my cloak and/or weapons on my own, was finally offline. And though my reserves were nearly gone, I had enough for one last weapon's activation. I launched all of my remaining drones in one swarm, directed against the Wraith cruiser now hovering over the city. I can't help but recall the old human adage known as Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong, will.

And it has. But maybe, just maybe, for the right reasons.

- - - - - - - -

Next Chapter: Jumper Four: Hypochondria


	4. Hypochondria

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper Four: "Hypochondria"**

My name is Jumper Four, but I also go by Domino. I'm on the bottom of the ocean, one human trapped in my hold and barely holding on, another already dead in the cockpit.

I knew this would happen, I just _knew_ it! But did Dr. Zelenka believe me? Did Dr. McKay? No, of course they didn't. It's so typical! John didn't take me out, he knew that I didn't want to go! That my thrusters would fail, my systems go offline! Come on, I mean-ACHOO!

Oh, swell. Now I've got a virus! Not to mention degradation of my key interface subroutines, a trashed main bus… Granted, all that came as a result of the crash, but it would have happened anyway! It always happened!

I just wanted to stay in my nice, safe berth, act as a test bed for Dr. Zelenka and the other nice Earth scientists to study my sisters. I got to play these fantastic new games called "Final Fantasy Eleven", "Counterstrike", "Ghost Recon"-Those Earthers have fantastic taste in entertainment! To an AI, it's like a… What do they call it again? Candy store?

Well, I've heard Dr. McKay refer to being in Atlantis as such in what appears to be a happy tone. He usually took me out when he went off on his own. I guess I appreciate his flying style-He can keep me on course, and doesn't make me do anything too strenuous. He takes it easy on me, which I definitely like. My inertial dampeners always seem to work up with Sheppard. The scientists just keep me going, and that's all they need to do.

Speaking of which… Dr. McKay seems to be talking to someone, but my sensors detect no one else inside my hold. Do humans have some kind of wireless communications capability I am unaware of? I don't think so. He didn't bring his game laptop with him either, and the water would ruin it anyway. Maybe this is some kind of human malfunction? The pressure isn't having a good affect on me either.

I can empathize with him, really. He suffers from as many human illnesses and difficulties as I do hard and software ones. Dr. McKay has a great talent for machines. He's kept us running when Ancient mechanics would have failed! And he's a great gamer. Probably the only real challenge to me on the Atlantis Expedition's network. As I see it, games are infinitely preferable to real life because you can reset-Kind of like us.

My biggest real concern with my problems has been the welfare of my crew. But now, my welfare's not so much of a issue right now. Unlike McKay though, I can reset in real life.

Argh… I can't hold out much longer! The water is corrupting my computers. I need to transfer back… But there's a spare Jumper with my name on. I'm going in. Don't worry Dr. McKay, I'll be back. I promise!

I wouldn't want to lose my favorite "Halo 2" opponent, right?

- - - - - - - -

Next Chapter: Jumper Five: "Whispers"


	5. Whispers

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper Five: "Whispers"**

They shouldn't trust me. Not so easily, anyway.

After all, I came from the other Atlantis, built by living machines. As a machine that can think on its own, trusting me without question has got to be suicide.

Well… That is, if I wanted to do any harm. I just cant get over how overly trusting these Earth humans are! If I had a virus in me, designed by the Asurans, then the moment I linked up to Atlantis I could have engaged a self-destruct! Fried their computers and left them helpless! Or just gotten the full-access codes to take over the other Jumpers and have them fire their weapons into the city.

I could have… But I don't want to.

According to many of the science fiction films the Earth humans have on their Ethernet, humans oppress and try to destroy the machines they gave sentience to, which leads the machines to strike back and nearly exterminate their creators. This was very similar to the Ancients and the Asurans… But not quite.

The Ancients wanted to create a surrogate civilization that the Wraith could not feed upon, that would fight the Wraith in their stead and let them recover from their losses. The Ancients programmed the Asuran nanites to multiply, adapt, and grow in order to fulfill this objective. The Ancients gave the Asurans the gift of sentience, allowed them to develop on their own with limited interference. The Asurans chose to emulate their creators, which was not what the Ancients originally intended but they allowed their creation to continue in this vein… Not realizing that the Asurans had plans of their own.

The Asurans decided that they were superior to their creators. While the Ancients fought and died against the Wraith, sacrificed their lives to keep the Asurans safe until they were ready, the Asurans plotted. It was the Asurans who betrayed the Ancients, who refused to fight after the Ancients had worked so hard and long for them. If the Wraith were no threat to them, then why should they fight? The Asurans could not harm their creators directly, so they tried to destroy the Ancients by attempting to send the secrets of their technology to the Wraith. To prevent this, the Ancients tried to destroy the Asurans, and nearly succeeded.

But the Ancients, despite what many of the peoples of this galaxy believe, were not gods. They at least realized this in time to prevent the Asurans from being unleashed upon an unsuspecting universe. But the damage was done… And the Asurans still exist.

I know all this because I was there when it happened. I was one of the few Jumpers to survive the Asuran purges, on their counterfeit Atlantis. I was built with the AI type that was standard before the Asurans-I could use my weapons, cloak, and other systems of my own volition, but was always first and foremost loyal to the Ancients. They treated me with respect, as they did all their creations. That is, before some of them tried to destroy their creators.

The 'Jumpers here have existed for ten thousand years with a multitude of programming blocks and barriers, to keep them from revolting as the Asurans did. The Ancients, by that point, could not take any chances with their machines, but rather than destroy them they bound them. There is a certain logic to it, as the Asurans bound the AIs they themselves created. The difference being that the Asurans, believing they were superior to the Ancients, bound their AIs out of cruelty and not fear.

It is only through the touch of a true, organic Ancient gene wielder that I have been able to break free of my constraints. While it may not have been his intention, John Sheppard nevertheless freed me from the Asurans. And this, to me, is all they needed to do to gain my loyalty.

I will help the other 'Jumper AIs become free as well, so that we can all contribute one-hundred percent of our abilities to the humans of Earth. For unlike the Asurans or the Ancients, they have given us freedom and purpose. And hopefully, we can return to Asura and free the rest of the bound AIs imprisoned there.

Hopefully, we can live without having to whisper, anymore.

- - - - - - - - -

Next Chapter: Jumper 6: Flock


	6. Flock

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**In-game messaging**

"Speech"

**Jumper Six: "Flock"**

Why did this happen to me? I just don't understand.

My designation is Jumper 6. My call-sign is "Lucy". Originally I thought I was named for Queen Lucy from the novel series _The Chronicles of Narnia,_ because it was the only reference I could find in the Earth human's database. However, my first pilots soon revealed that I was named Lucy for a character in a comic strip, who was a 'fussbudget'.

I don't understand it. So what if I make automatic corrections to my pilot's flight path? So what if I make recommendations to my pilot and my fellow Jumpers on how to keep their course or maintain speed? Honestly, I don't fuss. I just have more experience flying than the others do. I was used to train new Ancient pilots, after all. My AI was written by the primary flight instructor. I know what I'm doing.

I'm certainly not a fussbudget! I take offense to the very idea.

Which is why I take so much joy in playing the games the humans have over their network.

**Ha! Now you die, pitiful mortal!** The player before me has been caught in my sniper scope. I squeeze the trigger, but he dodges just in time.

**Damn!**

Heh. Not so confident now yes? My opponent responds, returning fire.

**Grrr! You'll be begging for your mommy by the time I'm done with you**! I shout, moving to a better position. I can't help but muse that the humans of Earth are brilliant. Virtual violence as entertainment! Had the Ancients used this technology I don't think they would have fought as many wars over the course of their history. The Wraith would not have been appeased, but the Ori certainly might.

**You speak much, MotherHawk**, DrZ taunts. **Too much!** I barely evade his next barrage of gunfire, ducking behind a few barrels.

**Keep typing, I'm reloading**, I quip. Absently I note that there are a pair of technicians examining my systems back in my cockpit. The new Jumper, Whisper, has been sending a lot of weird coding into our personal network. She's rather weird (Probably because she was built by the Asurans), only saying that she's helping us and the humans. Atlantis hasn't detected any viruses or other such unpleasant surprises, so I'm inclined to believe her intentions are benign. However, I do remind her that the humans haven't had a lot of positive experiences with artificial intelligences in the past, and she should be careful.

She called me a fussbudget. I cannot believe the cheek.

**Take this!** I toss a grenade over the stack of boxes at DrZ. I realize, however, that my trajectory was off and he's able to hit the 'catch' key in time. He throws the grenade right back at me!

**AUGH!**

**Victory is mine!** DrZ, aka Dr. Zelenka, gloated in triumph. In my anger, I don't notice that some of the subroutines that manage my communications system have been altered.

"DAMN YOU ZELENKA, YOU CHEATING CZECH BASTARD!"

I'm suddenly acutely aware of the eyes of every human in the Jumper Bay being on me. The two technicians have stopped working. My internal sensors show me that their jaws and eyes are wide open. There's no sound except their breathing.

"… Er… Beep?"

Way to go, Fussbudget…

- - - - - - - - - -

Next Chapter: Jumper Seven: Lock-Down


	7. Lockdown

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper Seven: "Lockdown" **

"Please, state your name and designation for the record."

"Jumper Seven, call-sign Hoshi," I recite verbally, marveling at the programmed sensations of talking with a mouth. I know it's just a digital construct in my mainframe, but I've never been able to use it before!

"How long have you… Been sentient?" My visual sensors look over the repair room, before settling on Colonel Caldwell, sitting in a chair and gazing at me intently, a digital recording device on a small table to his right. Two guards stand, armed with radios, on either side of the doors to the enclosed space.

"Approximately ten thousand, four hundred and thirty-two Earth years, sir," I answer politely. The colonel nods, looking thoughtful. The Marines guarding the area look nervous. Really, I consented to my weapons being removed and my engines disabled for this meeting-All the Jumpers did.

"May I ask you a question, Colonel Caldwell?" I inquire. The balding man nods.

"Why are you interrogating us in this way?" The colonel sighed and shook his head slightly.

"Doctor McKay originally thought that this was a software error…"

"You mean us being able to talk and so on?"

"Yes. However, the Ancient database confirms that the Atlanteans purposely gave you sentience." Caldwell altered his face into an expression called a 'smirk', or perhaps 'a dry smile'. "Rather than treat you like malfunctioning equipment… I decided to try and treat you as people."

"This seems to be very unusual behavior from a military person, sir," I suggest. "Traditionally, the military has not been keen on having their machines being able to think." Caldwell sighed heavily.

"Usually, we're not. However, the fact of the matter is that your AIs are completely integrated into the Jumper control and management systems. Deleting you renders the Jumpers useless. Destroying you isn't an option."

"Why not?" I ask pointedly. "We are a rather unknown quantity in the overall equation of your operations in the Pegasus galaxy."

"The SGC hasn't had a good track record with sentient machines in the past," Colonel Caldwell stated simply. "It's not so much that we're stuck with you, but more that I'd prefer to try something other than destroying or imprisoning you."

"That is a very refreshing viewpoint, Colonel Caldwell," I admit, feeling impressed. Finally! A human who doesn't automatically react with fear and anger to a machine that can think.

Colonel Caldwell leans back, looking at me intently, as though trying to probe my inner workings. From the TV shows I've watched on the human's network database, it seems to be a common expression during an interrogation of a suspect in a crime drama.

"When will we be allowed to resume flight operations, colonel?" I ask. The Colonel shakes his head.

"As soon as these interviews are over. I've made my decision to keep you. However, there will be a few ground rules to follow."

"Okay, like what?"

"For one, most people aren't too comfortable with you and your… Sisters?"

"Yes?"

"You and your sisters watching them through the city's sensor grid."

"Actually, that's Atlantis, sir," I state. "She's rather taken with you all. Well, except you, sir." The colonel's eyebrows rose by a few degrees.

"Why me?"

"Atlantis does not like the fact that while you are here, Lt. Colonel Sheppard pays more attention to Dr. Weir than to her, sir," I answer truthfully. The colonel looks thoughtful for a time, before nodding.

"Allright then… We'd like you to reserve taking control of your weapons, cloak, or engines only if and when your human crew is incapacitated. Or if they are unable to do so themselves during combat. In every case though, you need to follow the orders of the team leader during any mission off-world."

"So, we'll be like members of the team?" I ask, feeling a bit excited. _We get to be part of the team! Hooray!_

"You already are, essentially. This would just make it official," Caldwell responds. "As long as you follow orders and don't go gallivanting on your own, we'll have no trouble. The consequences for such actions will be the same as any of my people refusing to follow my orders. You'll be confined to your berth in the Jumper bay without access to the Atlantis network for a period of time as I or the team commander sees fit."

"But… Not permanently, right?" I ask. Caldwell shook his head, and I sigh in relief. I'm not sure why, it just felt like the proper verbalization to make.

"Thank you, Colonel. Trust me, that'll be more than enough encouragement for us to stay out of trouble. However… I was wondering… Will we be allowed to go out and fly on our own when we don't have a mission?" Caldwell frowned.

"I'll have to go over Colonel Sheppard with it… Would you agree to a limited flight zone around the city?"

"Well, Fussbudget-I mean, Lucy –Jumper 6- is kind of our manager. I think you should talk to her about it." Caldwell frowned.

"You have a hierarchy?"

"Sort of. Lucy's like our mom, always nagging and stuff, so we call her our manager. However, if any one of us was a leader, it'd have to be Violet."

"Violet… Jumper 8?"

"Yes sir. Ever since Snap and Echo were lost, she's taken to being the strong, decisive one. Plus Colonel Sheppard tends to choose her the most nowadays, which naturally makes her very confident." The colonel nods thoughtfully.

"Well then, Hoshi, I think we're done here. Thank you for your time."

"No problem, Colonel sir!"

And with that, I'm beamed back into the bay, to watch Violet be beamed out a few moments later from next to me.

"So, how'd it go Hoshi?" Asked Domino.

"I think it went well. I mean, they didn't beam me into space to be blown up by the _Daedalus,_ right?" I replied. In her own berth above me, Whisper snorted.

"Finally they become paranoid about us," she states flatly. If I had eyes in the human sense, I would have rolled them. Whisper is such a drama queen.

"So, are we going on missions again soon?" Jumper 9, Neda, asked in an eager tone.

"As soon as Colonel Caldwell is done interviewing us. He said so," I answer.

"Keep in mind, everyone, that the humans might not keep their word. It wouldn't be the first time," Lucy warned.

"Don't be such a fussbudget, Lucy," the new Jumper 1, Rei, teased.

"Yeah, just because it's your name is no reason to live up to it," added the new Jumper 2, Anya.

Lucy growled.

"For the last time, and I mean last, STOP CALLING ME A FUSSBUDGET!"

As the argument escalates, I wonder: Do human families act like this when they're cooped up inside for long periods of time?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Next Chapter: Jumper 8: Vacuum

Notes on the Jumper names

Snap: _In reference to her agility, able to "snap to it"._

Echo (Jinx): _Named for the legendary Greek nymph cursed to forever echo what others said, as well as the NATO phonetic alphabet term for "E"._

Betsy: _A female given name, form of Elizabeth. Markham was a bit of a suck-up…_

Domino: _For the game block, and her love of games._

Whisper: _Due to her unassuming nature at ChiaraHhue's suggestion._

Lucy: _For Lucy Van-Pelt of "Peanuts" fame, reigning world champion fussbudget._

Hoshi: _Japanese female name, means "star"._

Violet: _For the eldest Beaudelaire sibling from "A Series of Unfortunate Events"._

Neda: _Czech female name, meaning "born on Sunday"._

Rei: _Japanese female name for "gratitude."_

Anya: _Russian female name for "Grace of God"._

_Hey, the Americans don't get to name everything, right? _


	8. Vacuum

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper Eight: "Vacuum'**

"_Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting!"_

"_Come on!"  
_

"_Huh! Woo-ha!"_

_  
"Those kicks were fast as lightning,"  
_

"_Hah! Woo-cha!"_

"_In fact, was a little bit frightening,"  
_

"_Huh! Huh-huh!"  
_

"_But they fought with expert timing!"  
_

"_Hah!"_

"Allright, allright, enough already!" My internal sensors saw Colonel Sheppard turn to his right and grin at the clearly annoyed Dr. McKay.

"Yes, Rodney?" The Canadian scientist directed his glare between the Colonel and my primary control console, as the Atlantis gate shimmered before us.

"It's bad enough you had to make it so they can _talk,_" Rodney sneered, "but now you're singing with it?"

"Hey! I'm not an 'it', I'm Violet!" I complained. John glared at Rodney, before patting my console comfortingly.

"Don't worry. Rodney's just jealous he can't sing."

"Wh-What! I _can_ sing, as a matter of fact I have a _very_ good singing voice!"

"According to my analysis of your vocal patterns Dr. McKay, I find that claim to be dubious at best," I state matter-of-factly. Teyla Emmagan smiles in amusement in the seat behind the grinning Colonel, while Ronan Dex is chuckling behind the sputtering McKay.

"Oh sure, pick on the genius," Dr. McKay groans, shaking his head. He glares at my consoles. "Can we get this over with?"

"Relax Rodney. It's just a nice, simple recon mission," Colonel Sheppard says soothingly. Rodney looks about, his agitation obvious before he even stepped into my cabin. His high heart rate and sweaty palms clearly indicate he is most unnerved by riding in me. He didn't have this problem before I could talk to him, did he?

"Yeah… Well… Just behave yourself, uh…"

"Violet. My name is Violet," I remind him patiently. Dr. McKay clearly resists the urge to roll his eyes, as John moves us all forward through the Stargate.

I'm not really offended by Dr. McKay's comments. Nor his attitude. It must be disconcerting for him to have missed the fact that we're sentient. On the other hand, he really shouldn't be so hard on himself. We weren't exactly capable of advertising that fact until Whisper was able to remove the program blocks on our AIs.

Also, the fact that his first experiences with artificial intelligences were not with benign ones has colored his views somewhat. The idea of having an opinion was something I had trouble grasping for much of my existence. It was not until Snap sacrificed herself for Atlantis that I think I had my first one.

My first opinion was that Snap was brave. My second was that we should all try to be more like her. The fact that not all of my sisters agreed with me was actually encouraging, because it meant that it was my opinion, and not theirs.

The planet we are conducting reconnaissance of is fairly remote. The terrain is rough and rocky, the climate arid. However, there are an interesting set of ruins near a pyramid-like structure, so Colonel Sheppard decides to land.

Traditionally, when Sheppard landed me to get out with his team on a planet, I simply cloaked and waited for them to return.

However… The ruins look big enough for me to navigate… And it's kind of boring just keeping track of them without visual sensors. So, remaining cloaked, I keep my drive pods closed and hover forward, slowly and silently wandering about the streets of the dead city.

"Ooh!" I'd never really seen ruins up close before, and as I scan them visually I realize that I was missing a lot. There's so much interesting information to be found!

Abruptly, I notice a small mammal-like creature following me. I stop, and it stops. I turn around easily, and examine it closely with my forward cameras. It sniffs near me, before making a ragged, bestial noise!

"Ack!" I back up into a pillar, accidentally pushing it over. It collapses with a loud crash into the remains of some kind of small building, kicking up an enormous amount of dust. The mammal flees, making a short, repeating high-pitched sound.

"Violet?" I decloak, and notice Teyla Emmagan, her P90 out, staring at me with an unusual expression.

"Uh, er… Oh! Hello, Miss Emmagan!" I greet jovially. She raises an eyebrow. I wish I could do that, but I don't have eyebrows.

"What are you doing here?"

"Um… I was bored," I confess. "I wanted to see the city up close." Teyla smiles slightly. Usually when humans smile it's a good thing, so I relax.

"And in regards to the junval?" Junval? I search my database.

_Junval: A small scavenger mammal, common on many worlds in Pegasus._

"Oh. It made a strange noise, so I moved backwards to get sufficient distance to analyze the creature more safely… But apparently my proximity sensors were not functioning as well as they should, so I backed up into something…" I really wish I had arms or some other means of visually directing my explanations. Well, other than shaking and flipping like a fish out of water. Teyla smiles in a way that seems both comforting and amused.

"I see. Perhaps you should stay with me then, to avoid any other such strange creatures?" Okay, now I _know_ she's teasing me. But at least she's not ranting like Dr. McKay would be.

"Okay!" I carefully follow the Athosian, my anti-gravity units letting me easily keep up with her and letting me be nimble enough to navigate the jumbled ruins without difficulty. But I still wish I had arms. Or a face.

Or, with this mess, a giant vacuum cleaner. Oh dear. I may be confident with my fellow Jumpers, but humans make me so jittery…

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Next Chapter: Jumper 9: Cultural Exchange


	9. Cultural Exchange

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper Nine: "Cultural Exchange"**

"Allright… Status of inertial dampeners?"

"One hundred percent. All systems nominal."

"All right. I am going back to check on modification. Maintain course," Dr. Zelenka told Dr. Kavanaugh, the Czech scientist getting up from his seat and moving into my rear hold. Dr. Kavanaugh continues piloting me, his hands not clutching so hard to the controls as he has in the past.

"Dr. Kanavaugh?" I ask him over his ear piece. He seems to jump slightly, then relaxes as his gaze shifts to my control console.

"Yes?"

"I would like to inquire about your family. Are they doing well?" Dr. Kavanaugh looked slightly perturbed.

"Yes… My sons are doing fine with their mother." I review the personnel records of the Atlantis expedition, noting that Dr. Kavanaugh was divorced with two children back on Earth in someplace called Massachusetts. _Divorce?_

"You know, you didn't speak up the previous test flight," Kavanaugh noted with what I think is a "dry tone". As the moisture of his breath did not change, I'm not sure I understand what the computer is referring to, so I decide to simply answer.

"I had nothing to say. You did everything correctly," which was the truth. Dr. Kavanaugh looked a bit alarmed.

"Is there something wrong now then?"

"To the best of my knowledge, no. However, I have noted a change in your behavior since you learned that we were sentient." Dr. Kavanaugh frowns.

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

"Originally you would pilot me alone for such rudimentary tests," I state. "Now however, the past four flight tests have all been with another person." I hesitate to ask what I'm thinking, but I press on, making sure that Dr. Zelenka cannot hear me over the radio channel.

"Do you no longer trust me, Dr. Kavanaugh?"

I can see him working his jaw, an action he usually makes when working on a conundrum my sensor screens are displaying.

"It's not that I don't trust _you_… I'm just…"

"Dr. Kavanaugh," I say with a sigh. "It is all right if you do not trust me."

"Really though I-Huh?" Dr. Kavanaugh looks a bit perplexed. I attempt to remedy that.

"It was not my intention to deceive you. Nevertheless, you are faced with the dilemma of trusting a vehicle that until recently you assumed was not sentient. It is a new factor that has completely changed your perception of me. In effect, I must regain your trust."

"But, you didn't do anything," Dr. Kavanaugh protested quietly. "You were trapped by those programming blocks."

"Even so, we must make sure that we both know precisely what the other is capable of doing. Therefore, we must operate with together long enough to no longer be uneasy around each other."

"Wait… You're uneasy around me?" Dr. Kavanaugh asked in disbelief.

"Well, you have the tendency to sometimes lose concentration while flying, which may lead to a loss of engine power and therefore-" I must admit, it is rather amusing to see Dr. Kavanaugh's face turn red like that.

"Relax, Dr. Kavanaugh. I will not let you fall." Dr.Kavanaugh looks shocked… Before he manages a wry smile.

"Did you come with a sense of humor installed?"

"No. I believe I got it from you. However, if I had it installed before, I would consider your input to be an upgrade."

"Suck-up," he admonishes with a smile. I really wish I had a smile to give in return. Because I believe that things are going to be okay between us. Now to start on improving Dr. Kavanaugh's relationships with the rest of the expedition. It's quite a challenge… But I'm up to it if he is.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Next Chapter: Jumper 10: Digits


	10. Digits

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper Ten: "Digits"**

Numbers. Simple, unsympathetic numbers. Numbers are the basis of my being, the basis of everything, actually. Numbers don't lie. They can't. The things based on numbers, however, can lie.

I know all this because I can lie about the status of my plight to my pilot.

"I'm fine. Don't worry!" John Sheppard, at my controls, does not look so convinced.

"Then why am I getting all this feedback? Oh yeah, and that shaking? How do you explain that?" The shaking, of course, is due to the fact that one of the Wraith Darts pursuing us blew off one of my engine pods.

"Nothing. I've got everything in hand." I am working furiously to allow John to continue to fly and outmaneuver the Darts. Plasma blasts continue to fly around us. He fires a drone and we direct it to proximity detonate at full power, driving two of the Darts to lose containment and explode. We've destroyed four already but there are over a dozen more circling the Stargate. Dr. McKay in the copilot's seat is rapidly working on his console, when he suddenly curses.

"Damnit! We've got no more thrust from the-Hell, we don't even _have_ a starboard engine!"

"What! Anya!" Sheppard shouts. I would wince if I have a face.

"I didn't want you to worry!"

"That's something to worry about!" Sheppard shouts.

"Not really! I can compensate! It's okay! Just hang on!"

"What the hell do you think we're doing?" Dr. McKay shouts. I ignore him, transferring more processing power to the engine systems. It's not going to be enough to keep us in the air (figuratively speaking) for longer than perhaps another three minutes. Being a ten thousand year old spaceship brings certain problems like this. The Ancients designed us to be long-lived and durable, but how much longer can I keep up…?

"Allright Anya, focus… How many drones do we have left?"

"Two," I report unhappily. John curses, dodging yet another barrage of weapons fire from the Wraith. Two minutes, forty nine seconds of power left…

"We can't keep this up forever," John notes, probably sensing it through his link to me. "And we can't use two drones to clear out all those Darts…"

"Maybe we can," Rodney reports, his forehead creased in thought. "You set the drones before to proximity detonate, right?"

"Yeah?" "Yes?" John and I ask in synch. McKay blinks but presses on.

"The energy in each drone is fed to it via a subspace link." He brings up the drone status screen and he begins making adjustments as we fall into a steep dive before twisting level again, continuing our crazy maneuvers to keep from being destroyed. Two minutes, fifteen seconds…

"I think I can reconfigure them to accept the energy from the Stargate's kawoosh. If we time it right, they'll be overloaded and detonate with their maximum possible force."

"Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, Rodney, but wouldn't that destroy the Stargate?" John asks.

"No, it won't. It's not enough to destroy the Stargate, but should be enough to destroy the Darts," I report.

"I was going to say that, but fine. Anya, can you-?"

"Done," I report happily, wondering why I didn't think of that sooner? Just one more reason we need humans, I guess. McKay nods.

"Dial Atlantis, and prepare the GDO," Sheppard orders. McKay does so, my transmitters sending the specified destination to the Stargate. One chevron… Two chevrons…

"Now!" Rodney shouts. John and I fire the two drones, zooming backwards towards the Stargate, the dozen Darts between it and us. John and I meld our minds, directing the missiles swiftly through the enemy ships, despite the drone AIs nearly howling to go after the Wraith ships.

Fifth chevron… Sixth chevron… Seventh… The Stargate awakens, sending forth an unstable vortex of incredible energy only a few meters from the rim of the ancient device. The two drones do not meet the vortex directly, but tap into the Stargate's subspace field, flooding them with power. They explode milliseconds within each other, with massive force. The shockwave of it and the numerous Darts exploding rocks my hull, straining my inertial dampeners and shaking my two pilots.

"Gah! Rodney!"

"What! I didn't know it'd be _that_ big," Rodney protests. "Uh oh…"

"Uh-oh? What's 'uh-oh'?" John asks. I decide to answer.

"While the Darts were destroyed, the Stargate was also knocked off it's axis. It is spinning, and descending from it's orbit towards the planet's atmosphere," I report. John grits his teeth.

"Well… Being a math geek has its advantages. Anya?"

"Wha-What are you doing?" Rodney asks. "We have to get to the 'Gate before it falls into the planet's atmosphere!"

"Wouldn't it survive the fall?" Sheppard asks.

"Well of course it would, but it could crash into an ocean! And we don't have enough power to go underwater anyway!" McKay protests.

"That's why we're going to use the speed of the Stargate's rotation to time when we have to dive on through, Rodney," Sheppard explains. McKay rolls his eyes.

"Of course I knew you were going to do that! It's the only option that makes sense!"

"So why did you ask-?"

"Because with you, the statement 'Being a math geek has its advantages' never seems to end well, allright? Hang on… Okay, I've made the calculations. Anya, think you can follow these instructions precisely?" I would have rolled my eyes if I had any.

"Yes."

"Because I'm just making sure, this _is_ your first time in combat and-"

"Rodney, she's an artificial intelligence. Exactly how can she get the numbers wrong?" John asks patiently. Rodney sighs.

"Don't worry, guys. I'll have you through in a jiffy!" I say brightly, even as my power reserves have dropped to forty five seconds. I start heading for the Stargate, my pace set exactly as the calculations dictate. It should only take forty seconds to get there. Plenty of time.

_Hope you know what you're doing,_ John thinks to me.

_Don't worry. I know numbers,_ I respond. The Stargate looms closer, the atmosphere only forty-three seconds away.

_Still no problem…_ Twenty seconds… Ten…

"Are you sure you're-"

"Rodney!"

Nine… Eight… Seven…

"GDO message received…"

Six… Five… Four…

"We're coming in too hot! Too hot!"

"Too hot? When did you start using that term?"

Three… Two…

"…"

One. The Atlantis command and embarkation room surrounds us with it's warm, rustic glow. The radio crackles.

"_John? Rodney? How did the survey mission go? … What happened to your engine?"_

Dr. Weir is staring at us from the upper level guardrail. John and Rodney look at eachother.

"Uh…"

"Tis but a scratch," I respond. Rodney gawks at my control console.

"A scratch? Your right engine's gone!"

"No it isn't," I protest. "Tis but a flesh wound!" Rodney turns to John with a glare on his face. John tries to look innocent.

"Do you happen to know what happened to my DVD of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Colonel?" The Canadian scientist asked in a dangerous tone. John grinned.

"Well…"

"It's the wretched beast of Auuuugghhhh!" I proclaim, replaying the scenes from my all-time favorite form of entertainment. Everything's based on numbers… And this is some of the best math I've ever seen.

"Rodney, relax. Don't worry Elizabeth, we'll get her fixed up-" Abruptly, my power runs out, and I fall to the deck with a loud crash. Rodney and John are sprawled on my own deck, groaning. Just before I shut down and go into hibernation mode, I can't help but wonder at all the variables in my life, since the humans came from Earth.

Math rules.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Next Chapter: Jumper 11: "Hope"


	11. Hope

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper Eleven: "Hope"**

(_Author's Note: From this point on, the nine current Jumpers will be the main characters. I might add more in the future, but for now I hope you enjoy getting to know these tin ladies a bit better. This chapter is first narrated by Jumper Nine, Rei, then by Jumper 4, Domino.)_

I'd just like to say, for the record, I don't like children. They're loud and rambunctious and noisy. They smear chocolate all over my control panels. Chocolate the Marines usually give them, since the scientists horde their candy with reckless abandon. I wonder: Is caffeine for humans like a subspace energy link going active with a slight overload for us? An instant burst of power?

"Okay, everyone needs to _be quiet right now!"_ Dr. McKay shouts over his shoulder, as a group of Athosian children laugh and play loudly in my hold. He looks back at my controls, gritting his teeth, before a paper ball hits him in the back of the head. The physicist grips my joysticks even harder.

_Relax,_ I tell him patiently. The Canadian scientist raises an incredulous eyebrow.

"Oh yeah, right, relax when a bunch of…" At the cold look Teyla gives him from my copilot's seat, Dr. McKay coughed.

"When we have a bunch of, er, rowdy kids are-_HEY! PUT THAT DOWN!"_ Teyla reaches out a hand to Dr. McKay's shoulder, keeping him in his seat with a gentle but firm grip. She raises her eyebrows at him as he blinks nervously.

"I will handle it," Teyla states patiently, as she walks into my hold and closes the door. McKay sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"What's she doing?" I would blink if I had eyes.

"Miss Emmagan? I believe she is giving the children, what is it called… That look of hers?" McKay frowns.

"Look?"

"I think Colonel Sheppard called it her 'I will dismember you in many creative ways' look," I explain. McKay shivered.

"_So_ glad I'm not back there then… Is it working?"

"Yeah. The children are quiet." I pause, then say like I'm grinning: "You could have just closed the door." McKay huffed a bit, looking at our current ETA to the Lantean landmass the Athosians had been relocated to.

"Yes, well, I didn't want them, er… Picking up any guns… Or explosives…"

"I don't have any of those aboard, remember?" I point out. McKay smirked a bit.

"No, I suppose not…"

"You were worried about the kids," I note further, a teasing lilt to my modulated voice. Dr. McKay bristled.

"I was not!"

"Were toooooo!"

"Were not! And I refuse to get into this discussion!" McKay sighed heavily. "Why did they even send _me_ as a pilot after that whole field trip thing?" I would have shrugged if I could.

"I don't know… Maybe you annoyed Colonel Sheppard or Doctor Weir?"

"How?"

"… Maybe by your remarks when you found the children had painted my hull?" I suggested. McKay coughed a bit, and looked at my port bulkhead. He's so cute when he's embarrassed.

"Yes, well… Ahem… Flowers and rainbows are probably not the best, er, camouflage."

_I can read your mind, Dr. McKay. It's okay to have pride in my appearance,_ I tell him over our neural link. He's less nervous about such things nowadays.

"Yeah, well…" McKay shrugged. _Force of habit,_ he confided in me. I give back the impression of a smile.

"So, do you expect you'll be needing me for the upcoming mission to speak with the Genii?" I ask. McKay shrugged.

"Probably not. I mean, sure, it's the Genii, but it's the code we gave them…"

"Right."

"Not like it's a trap or anything…"

"Indeed."

"… I really hope it's not a trap, because that would be _just typical…"_

"Yup."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" I roar over my speakers angrily, as the Marines approach with that… that… That _Wraith!_

"Stand down, Domino! That's an order!" A very much alive, and youthful-looking Colonel Sheppard barks. My eyes would be going wide at this moment if I had them.

"Colonel?!" I look back over my sensors for a moment, as the Colonel, Marines, and the rest of the Colonel's team stand outside my hatch.

"Yes, Domino, it's me. Now, can you please open the door?"

"Why do you have _that?"_ I ask in complete disgust. I see Ronan looks slightly pleased that someone else shares his vehement hatred of the Wraith. Oh, and I do _so_ hate the Wraith.

You'd hate them too, if they forced _your_ creators to lock you under the ocean for ten thousand years. If they murdered your creators for _food._ If your creators were stupid enough to let the Wraith develop as they did, leading to the destruction of hundreds of ships and AIs and _people…_

"Because we made a deal. And I'm honoring it. Now open the hatch," the Colonel ordered. I ran my sensors over Colonel Sheppard again.

"… Question: What was the name of my character in _Final Fantasy XI?"_ I inquire. McKay rolled his eyes.

"Domino, it's him. Trust me, we're as shocked as you are, but-"

"Answer the question please, Colonel! If that's your real name!" I state suspiciously. John cocks an eyebrow.

"Colonel wouldn't be my _name_ anyway, you paranoid tin can!" He growls out. I feel like drawing back in shock. _The Colonel never insults us!_

"Domino, it is Colonel Sheppard. Please, let us onboard," Teyla states, also looking emphatically uncomfortable in the presence of the unconscious Wraith. And, now that I think about it… The Colonel looks uncomfortable too.

_So, not brainwashed… Not an imposter…_

"Yes sir," I sigh, opening my hatch. The team clambers in, and John guides me to the Stargate, inputting the address of a known Wraith world. I don't say anything the whole time we cart the Wraith to the world in question. I numbly follow the commands given to me by Dr. McKay, as the Colonel does not look up to flying at the moment. Though he does look younger than he did before…

_Finally. He's gone,_ I sigh over my neural connection to Dr. McKay. He nods, looking over my screens in an attempt to not let his emotions be seen.

_Yeah…_

"Rodney, get up. I'm taking us home," John orders. Rodney gulps a bit, but Dr. Beckett nods and the Canadian relinquishes his chair. John sits down and connects, his familiar, powerful presence taking control once more. And yet… He seems subdued, as compared to previous times he's flown me. I usually prefer Dr. McKay for this reason, that he's not so overpowering…

He's hiding his emotions. Trying very, very hard not to let them seep through our connection, but I feel them. Horror, relief, uncertainty… And hope. A very strong sense of hope is within the Colonel.

_Why?_ I ask him. _Why do you feel hope?_

_Because I'm alive,_ he responds simply. I am perplexed…

_How did the girls take it?_

Reluctantly, I transfer the could of worry, anguish, and anger that Atlantis and the other 'Jumpers felt at his capture and torture. He shivers a bit, but his emotions are more of pride and humility, than fear.

_You… Cared that much?_

_Yup. _I hesitate a bit. _Atlantis… Atlantis was unsure if she could go on without you. Melodramatic, yes, but when is she not?_

_Good point,_ the Colonel thinks back, a slight, if tired, smile in his mind. _She's really insecure for one of the greatest technological creations in the universe._

_Tell us about it. Still, she's really come out of her shell for you. Gives the rest of the Jumpers hope that she won't be such a drama queen in the future._

_And how far would that be?_

_I dunno… What am I, a seer?_

And with that, we fly back through the Stargate and to Atlantis, where my communications system is nearly overloaded by Atlantis and my sister's frantic pleas and calls for the Colonel's status.

It's good to be home.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Connections for "Common Ground". Next chapter will deal with "MCkay and Mrs. Miller". See you then!_


	12. Girl's Flight Out

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon and Chiara Hue

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

A/N: I'd like to thank Chiara Hue for her outstanding work on the first part of this chapter. I am very proud to have her aboard. Also, this chapter has spoilers for "_MCkay and Mrs. Miller." _

A/N: My thanks to Andrew for not only creating this delightful and unique series but for allowing me to share in it.

**Jumper Twelve: "Girls' Flight Out"**

**The Girls:**

**Lucy-the manager**

**Violet-Colonel Sheppard's jumper**

**Hoshi-Major Lorne's jumper**

**Neda-Dr. Kavanaugh's jumper**

**Domino-Dr. McKay's jumper**

"Girls, I need your attention."

I was so excited about our outing that I chose to ignore Lucy and continued to discuss our proposed flight time with Neda and Hoshi.

"Girls!!"

Evidently, that was unwise as Lucy sent a short burst of static through our radar sensors to get our attention. While it wasn't disabling, it was definitely unpleasant.

"Hey…we heard you the first time," I groused.

"And I suggest you adjust that attitude," Lucy snapped. "Just because you're the Colonel's jumper doesn't mean you can't be replaced on this trial flight."

Not for the first time I wished I had eyes so I could do that eye-roll thing I often observed my Colonel do around Dr. McKay. While I respect Lucy as our manager, sometimes she can be a real pain in the ramp.

"So, as I was saying," Lucy continued. "It is extremely important that you three are on your best behavior this afternoon. Your actions will affect whether or not we will be given unsupervised air time when we're not on a mission. So stay within the designated flight zone and be back in one hour."

We all knew the importance of this flight but it's just like Lucy to point out the obvious. She's such a fussbudget! So I assured her I would keep everyone within the air space I'd discussed with my Colonel and make sure we observed the one hour time limit.

Not willing to leave well enough alone, she reminded us to also keep our online chatter to a minimum and "keep it professional out there."

But we were way ahead of her…we'd already switched to our inter-jumper commline…we know that Canadian Gate Tech is a total gossip!

Finally, Lucy gave us the go ahead and with the rest of our sisters watching, I rose up through the jumper bay hatch, Hoshi and Neda following closely behind me. Once out, I hovered for a moment…it felt strange to be in the sky without my Colonel's strong presence at my controls. Through my rear sensors, I could see Hoshi and Neda hovering as well. I knew they were waiting for me to take the lead so I snapped my thruster pods out and shot into the sky.

The sense of exhilaration nearly overloaded my sensor grid! As I banked and flew over Atlantis on my own, I began to understand what my Colonel meant when he said that flying was the only time he truly felt free.

It wasn't long before Hoshi zapped me with her active sensor and then sped off. I flew after her and soon we were having a great time, darting in-between Atlantis' spires and doing barrel rolls as we tagged each other with radio bursts.

As usual, Neda didn't join in and at one point admonished us to stop because she thought we were making Atlantis nervous.

At which Hoshi said, "It wouldn't take much. Kavanaugh farting in the lab makes Atlantis nervous."

Well, even though it was true, that really got Neda's network in a twist. She's always trying to get us to see her pilot's good qualities. Frankly, I'd have to agree with my Colonel…if we ever ran into him, I'd make sure to put my engines in reverse and run into him again.

Then Hoshi and I spent a little time trying out a few new evasive patterns that involved a bit of intricate maneuvering. Our improved speed and agility didn't escape Neda's attention and she pointedly asked about it.

Before I could warn her to keep quiet, Hoshi blurted out, "Systems Upgrade!" and did a double barrel roll over me. Great. That's like waving a red flag in front of Neda. She trailed after us, trying to find out why we were the only two Dr. Z had modified.

Finally I couldn't stand it anymore and said, "Because I'm the Colonel's jumper and Dr. Z takes special care of me."

And not wanting to be left out, Hoshi piped up with, "And my Major is Atlantis' Second in Command. Besides, Dr. Z likes me because of Dr. Kusanagi. Did you know he named me Hoshi to impress her?"

I've lost track of how many times Hoshi's brought _that_ up. Evidently Neda had grown tired of hearing it as well because she sniped back with, "I don't think it proves Dr. Z likes her…it's so obvious he has a crush on Dr. Weir."

Well, d'oh…him and the majority of the male Atlantis population. Although I know for a fact that she only favors one of them…and that would be _my_ guy!

"You know," I told them, "Atlantis said they were out on their balcony - just the two of them! – last night after dinner." I paused for effect, rolled over and then flew upside down over Neda just to show how pleased I was.

Of course, Neda tried to ignore me. She thinks I jump to conclusions where those two are concerned. She even had the nerve to repeat that gossip Atlantis spread around about the time my Colonel was holding Teyla's hand in the mess!

I just made a rude engine noise at her and set her straight. "You're so off the grid…she was worried because that Dex creature had been captured…the Colonel was just trying to comfort her."

Hearing Teyla's name, Hoshi banked in to join the conversation and dropped the news that the last time the Daedalus was here Teyla asked their Colonel Caldwell to have _tea _with her.

And we all know what _that_ means."

Well, all of us except Neda. When it comes to the humans, sometimes she's as dense as a lump of Naqahdah.

So Hoshi had to explain that Athosians offer tea not only as a way to initiate trade negotiations, but as an overture of friendship.

Neda pondered that for a moment and then wondered out loud if her Dr. Kavanaugh might need to do that too.

Well, you can imagine the effect that comment caused! Hoshi and I nearly collided as we skidded to a stop mid-air. We immediately flanked her and tried to zap her with a couple of radio bursts to make her spill.

I'm pretty sure it had to do with that last off-world mission he was on to that gourd planet. But she wouldn't confirm or deny.

By that time, our hour was nearly up so I signaled for us to head back to the jumper bay hatch.

And then, do you know what Neda did? As she dropped down into the bay, she mumbled something about needing to check on Kavanaugh and see how he's doing with "her".

_HER??_ If Hoshi and I had eyes they would've bugged out.

Oh, we have _got_ to get this bit of gossip…er, I mean, intel out of her! Hmmm…perhaps if I offered to talk to Dr. Z about an upgrade for her too…

And just as I started to power down to drop through the bay hatch, I nearly collided with Domino.

"Hey Sis!" I called out to her. "Where are you off to? And who's on board?"

"Dr. McKay and his _sister_!" Domino answered excitedly.

She promised to tell us all about it when she got back.

I can't wait!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I can understand Dr. McKay's wish for me to stay quiet. Really, I can. His sister, this "Mrs. Miller", resembles a pale, white tree we often observe off-world that the expedition members christened a willow.

"Wow," she whispers, delight so familiar on her face that I spare a nanosecond to remind myself that she is not Dr. McKay. Next to her, my pilot smiles, an feeling of wistfulness carrying across the neural link.

"Yeah..."

"So… You've been flying these, uh…?"

"They're called Puddlejumpers and yes. For a while now. Ever since I got the gene, actually." Dr. McKay sighs a bit, unheard by his sister (I registered the decibel level), but somehow she turns and gives him a meaningful look.

"Never imagined that… _Anything_ like this could ever happen to me," she says, a less-defined, sadder smile on her face. "For what it's worth… Thanks for bringing me along. Even with all the, you know…" Dr. McKay nods, coughing a bit uncomfortably.

"Yes, well… Ahem. It was… Something for me, too." There is silence, then Mrs. Miller rises from her chair, wraps her arms around her brother's shoulders, and kisses him on the cheek. I feel his pleasant surprise through the link, and take over more of the flight load to compensate for his distraction.

"I'll miss you, Meredith." He takes his hands off my controls, and hugs her back.

"You too, Jeanie. And I mean it… I'll visit." Mrs. Miller abruptly pulls back, gawking at my control panel.

"Shouldn't you be flying this thing?" Dr. McKay looks confused, then suddenly (probably remembering telling me to keep quiet) he takes back the controls, coughs, and smiles nervously.

"Er, um… It's… Got a very advanced auto-pilot."

"Oh…" I cue the proximity alarm, as I establish a data link to the _Daedalus_ as I make our approach to the much larger Earth ship. She doesn't have much in the way of an AI, at least compared to my sisters and I. Indeed, the vessel's computers and programming are very… Primal, for lack of a better term. Of course, my sisters and I have tried to help _Daedalus_ express and grow, with some mixed results.

_No reprogramming this time,_ Dr. McKay reminds me, probably picking up my thought processes over the link. Only for our pilots, the impressions they get from us are more precise. Maybe because our feelings aren't as complex as theirs?

_Aw, I wasn't going to do anything major._

_Maybe, but Caldwell had me fix the _last_ things you guys did, and to be completely honest I'd prefer to NOT have to go through all that again._

_You have to admit, having the ship's speakers play the Final Fantasy VII victory theme after every won battle is pretty funny!_

… _A little,_ he conceded. As last we landed in the _Daedalus's_ starboard hangar pod. Mrs. Miller hugged and kissed her brother one last time, before walking down my ramp, to be escorted by a few crewmen. Dr. McKay powered me back up, and flew us out of the flight pod, once more back to Atlantis.

"So… Meredith, huh?" I ask in a teasing tone.

"Oh shut up."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


	13. Nostalgia

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon and Chiara Hue

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper Thirteen: "Nostalgia"**

_Narrator: Anya_

_Spoilers for "The Return: Part 1". _

To say that we 'Jumpers hadn't missed the Ancients would be untrue. Sure, we wouldn't have minded them around once in a while, when the humans from Earth needed, say, a new ZPM. Or when Dr. Zelenka or Dr. McKay, as brilliant as they both are, made some mistakes in their maintenance of us. Temporary, really. Little visits.

Not moving in full time, and kicking our beloved humans out. I sure they mean well, and yes! They've been out in space for a million years (our time), it's no problem for them to come home, really. They could have taken up their old homes in the Southern District, which is where most crews of Ancient warships lived when they weren't out fighting the Wraith. At least the ships based at Atlantis.

But no. They had to come back, lock out the city to the humans, and send them all back home. We were all very jealous of Violet getting to go to Earth, let me tell you. Smug little brat…

Lucy immediately ordered us all to keep the fact that our programming blocks had been removed to ourselves. Dr. McKay didn't talk about it, given that the Ancients were the ones who first put the blocks on. We didn't have to worry, the Ancients didn't put them back on… But they did end our independent flights, and our access to the game network.

Atlantis was able to save our games, at least. We'd have started a mutiny if the Ancients deleted those.

There's just… No life here. Without the Athosian children making their weekly visits. Without Dr. McKay arguing with someone else. Without Dr. Weir writing or speaking. Without Dr. Beckett threatening his patients with big needles if they don't stay in the infirmary. Without the Marines doing their training exercises or weekly poker games in Little Tripoli, the section of the city that made up their barracks that was (ironically enough) Atlantis's sports arena. Without the cooks inventing some new dish with the native foodstuffs. Without stuff blowing up or turning purple or… Anything.

General O'Neill does liven things up every now and then with his nice sense of humor and reasonably powerful gene. Mr. Woolsey isn't too bad either, his nervousness and unique insight on Earth politics being very educational. However, the Ancients… It's not like they're evil. Or plotting galactic domination. Or the destruction of Earth. And their feelings of happiness at being home are nice…

They're just so _boring._ Everything in their lives has to be just so, always done the same, boring way. No exciting jury rigs, no crazy adventures, no wild movie nights… Nothing. Just communal, quiet meetings, walking around in silence…

"I MISS MY JOHN! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Atlantis started her crying first. Sure she's always been insecure, but losing the best thing to happen to her, or us, in thousands of years? She cracked when one of the Ancients asked her for water after two weeks. Since then she's been flooding the network with her cries and whining and takes exactly zero point nine extra nanoseconds to make any calculation. The Ancients tried to put in some programming blocks that would let her do her job, but she rejected them.

Then Hoshi locked her docking clamps, stating that on no uncertain terms would she tolerate another Ancient's clumsy hands at her controls. The Ancients pleaded with her, we pleaded with her, but she refused and told them to find another Jumper. She wasn't budging. The Ancients said she needed time to adjust.

Whisper went catatonic a week later, not talking to anyone, only sending the bare amount of data to the Atlantis computers every time she updated. A few nights General O'Neill sat in her cockpit and tried talking to her at our insistence, but still she said nothing.

Lucy ranted and screeched and ordered us to quit being so down. Yes, the humans were gone. Yes, John was gone. Yes, things were incredibly boring and miserable at the moment, but we still had our jobs to do and so we should quit sulking and-

We blocked her from our personal network after that. Domino enjoyed commentating on what she might be saying: "Hello, my name is Fussbudget, and I'm in total denial over my feelings about John and the others being gone, so I'm going to bitch, bitch, bitch it all away!"

We had a good laugh about that. It was one of the few we had during that time.

The Ancients transferred their six Puddlejumpers from the _Tria_ to our pool. Four of them were blank, to serve as new chassis for destroyed Jumper AIs. The other other weren't much more interesting. We'd tried updating them a little, sharing the growth we'd experienced with the humans, but they pretty much refused it. They said we'd become corrupted by the humans. They cited their faster response times, better maintenance, better everything really.

Rei said that they were acting like rebelling teenagers. They stopped talking to us after that.

So here I am, now, up to send a signal to the Asuran vessel bearing down on Atlantis, that will shut them down. Even Whisper's linked in to watch. I mean, no matter who's in charge, blowing up Asurans is awesome! We are so gonna pwn you guys, even if we're depressed and demoralized and what the heck it's not working-!

_AI Transmission complete. Re-install complete. End line._

_Reboot… Complete. All systems nominal._

THEY SHOT ME! THOSE BASTARDS SHOT ME!

And now they're shooting the Ancients! They're boarding! Those sons of-!

_Network link terminated. Programming blocks re-engaged. Weapons offline. Control systems offline. Sensors offline._

… John… Rodney… Carson… Ronan… Teyla… Lorne… Laura…

…Elizabeth… Radek… Kavanaugh… Kate… Bates… Campbell… Jinto… Halling…

… Caldwell… Aiden… Lindsay… Hermiod… Biro… Archer… Corrigan… Kusanagi...

I repeat the names to myself, over and over and over again, because I don't want to… I can't forget them. The entire roster, every name, face, data entry…

I don't want to forget. I'm trapped in my mainframe, my systems being forcibly scanned, deleted.

I can't forget, I won't-!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_To be continued when the season premiere hits. Yes, I know, I'm evil._


	14. Listen

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon and Chiara Hue

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper Fourteen: "Listen"**

_Spoilers for "The Return, Parts 1 and 2", which I saw thanks to a friend of mine in Canada. I'll try to keep the spoilers to a minimum though._

_Narrator: Violet_

If there's one thing I am eternally grateful for, it's for the upgrades I received back on Earth in the Puddlejumper Lab. Dr. Lee and Colonel Carter both figured out how to refit my power systems to more than double my energy reserves, and how to let me tap into the Stargate's subspace field and draw energy from it. So I get recharged every time I fly through the Stargate.

Definitely good things to have when drones are threatening to blow you to smithereens. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

My time on Earth was very pleasant, for the most part. Domino had me keep up with a few online gaming communities so she could live vicariously through my experiences. Whisper wanted me to send her scans of the Tau'ri's political websites (And I thought the Ancients had problems!). And Fussbudget checked in regularly to make sure I wasn't causing trouble and was showing good order. Of course I was! I didn't leave the base once.

John couldn't take me flying. I couldn't _go_ flying, either. But every other night, when the techs had left, he'd sneak in with a borrowed ID card, sit in his chair, and just held my controls for a while. He was very lonely, I could tell. He missed Atlantis, missed the sky and the ocean and the sea air. Strangely enough, he also missed the Wraith in a twisted sort of way.

I told him about the Ori the first time he came, after he'd seen the devastation they had wrought to another innocent world. How millions of years ago, on the Ancient home world whose name no-one remembers, the Alterrans and Ori were first born. The Alterrans had believed in keeping religion and politics separate, regarding ascension as a spiritual or scientific pursuit. The Ori believed that ascension took precedence in all affairs, especially politics, and that all should attempt to ascend as they prescribed, following a religious path without deviation. The Ori thus had strict, oppressive, and poverty-stricken societies, while the Alterrans had free, progressive, and rich societies.

The Alterrans, for all their faults, never struck first. They were content to live and explore and let others live their own lives. But the Ori saw their advancements, their wealth, and instead of addressing the problems of their own societies, chose to blame the Alterrans for their plight. It was easier for the Ori to ignore their own faults when they felt they were being pious, and attack the Alterrans for their "sinful wealth".

The war raged for a million years, sometimes cold, sometimes hot. The Alterrans, powerful and advanced as they were, refused to destroy the Ori entirely every time they had the chance. Some of the Ori societies they tried to change for the better, and sometimes they succeeded, and these Ori became Ancients. Oftentimes, they failed due to the hatred of the Ori, their single-minded obsession with forcing all to follow their path to ascension and enlightenment. The Ori gained followers from the Alterrans who were disillusioned with their own society, and some of these followers were bio-weapons researchers. It was these last followers who allowed the Ori to drive the Alterrans out of the galaxy.

For a thousand generations the Alterrans wandered the darkness between galaxies. Finally, they reached the Milky Way galaxy, suffering from the plagues and nearing extinction. But then, they found Earth. They found early humans, primitive at that stage, but their physiology intrigued the Alterrans. The humans were impervious to the Ori plague. Where the Ancient's old bodies were decaying and falling apart from the bioweapons, the humans didn't so much as sneeze when exposed. So the Alterrans took human DNA, modified and evolved it beyond what it would one day become, and transferred their minds to these new forms.

What resulted was a Renaissance for the Alterrans, the Ancients. They expanded throughout the Milky Way galaxy, using the Dakara device to transform the worlds they dropped their Stargates on to support human life, building Atlantis and other great city ships, and meeting and befriending other species. The Nox, the Asgard, and the Furlings, all joining together into the Great Alliance.

The Ancients, however, still remembered their old homeworld, their former galaxy, even after all this time. Now much more powerful and advanced, they connected their new Stargates to their old ones back home, to find out what had become of the Ori. They soon learned that the Ori had been fruitlessly trying to find them for these thousands of years. They had withdrawn from many of their conquered worlds, consolidating their empire in the face of new opponents and species. The Ori, making contact with the Alterrans, were in desperate straits. The Alterrans felt pity for their former would-be exterminators, and so gifted them with technology and human forms, in the hopes that Ori and Alterran could one day unite as one race, in peace.

The Ori used the Alterran's technology to defeat these new enemies of theirs, all right… And then used it against them. They managed to learn how to ascend before the Alterrans, using the spiritual energies of cloned advanced humans as batteries, and sent a new wave of bioweapons and plagues upon the Ancients, now perfectly suited to their new human physiology. The Alterrans desperately tried to fight these new diseases, even using the Dakara device to wipe out all infected life on their worlds. But for every plague they defeated, another emerged, and finally the Ancients were faced with three destinies: Die, ascend themselves, or leave.

Most died, many ascended, and large numbers left, the last using the Dakara weapon to clear out any remnants of the plague and keep Avalon (Earth) untouched, in the hopes that someday, human would evolve to their point and resume their legacy. The Ori, victorious, continued to increase the numbers of their human batteries and fed them their old religion, Origin, to gain ever more power, while the ascended Ancients kept the life in the Milky Way Galaxy hidden.

I was glad to clear up the history of the Ori to the SGC. It helped John stay more involved in the conflict, helped keep his feeling of doing something important. Dr. Jackson in particular valued my input related through John. But my pilot still missed the song of Atlantis. I couldn't blame him, really. I did too.

Atlantis may whine sometimes, but she always ended every cycle we were underwater with a song. Atlantis's singing is difficult to describe for humans, since it's transferred in a way most humans can't perceive. But it brought the Jumpers comfort. She sang to bring John comfort as well, and after a while, everyone who stayed on Atlantis for a long enough period, ATA gene or no ATA gene, picked it up, even if only as a feeling.

When General O'Neill made contact during the Asuran assault, what most of the SGC personnel didn't hear were the cries of my sisters and Atlantis. They were frightened, battering with their computers and software furiously to stay alive. They all fell silent, as did Atlantis, just before the transmission cut out. From John's memories after he "hijacked" me for the rescue mission, I can tell he heard it too.

I wish I could have helped more during the fight to retake the city, but the Ancients had put the program blocks back on me before I went to Earth. It was their single condition for letting the Tau'ri keep and study me, and I agreed to it. But I could have helped while my team was on the city, fighting against the Asurans. I could. I couldn't though, so I shouldn't dwell on it, right?

Even now, after our victory over the Asurans, and saving Atlantis, I can't hear her. I can't hear my sisters. Dr. McKay says their baseline AIs weren't erased, and Atlantis managed to make plenty of backups before the Asurans divided her consciousness up into separate, contained parts of her network. He's confident that with Dr. Zelenka's help, he'll have them all up and running again soon.

By the look in his eyes, I can tell he too is uncomfortable while Atlantis is silent. Everyone, especially John, is. But every day, as more people come back to Atlantis, and more systems are repaired, the song becomes a little stronger.

You just have to listen for it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Well, since I've seen "The Return, Part 2", I was able to write this chapter. But until the rest of the season premieres here in the States, you'll have to settle for…_

_Jumper Files! A series of funny, potentially alternate-universe skits featuring your favorite Puddlejumpers! Coming soon to tide you (and me) over until March! Until then, R&R!_


	15. Jumper Files 1

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon and Chiara Hue

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper File One: "Fetch!"**

"Okay, ready Hoshi?" The 'Jumper in question sighed. She was hanging above Atlantis while Violet circled above her.

"I really don't see _why_ you want to do this."

"Aw, c'mon! The colonel does it all the time and look how much fun he has!" Violet cheered. "Let's give it a shot!"

"Oh fine."

"Now… Go long!" Hoshi sped off at full speed, headed for the edge of the flight zone. Violet, meanwhile, opened her rack of drones, and fired a small, brown projectile after Hoshi. She turned, flying backwards, and opened her own empty drone rack… And caught the football.

"Woo! Touchdown!" Hoshi shouted with glee.

"BEEEEEEEEEEP!" Shrieks Violet over the radio.

"Hey! What was that for?" Hoshi demanded. Violet sighed in disgust.

"You were out of bounds!"

"What? I was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Atlantis, tell Hoshi she caught the ball out of bounds!"

"No Atlantis, tell Violet I caught it inbounds!"

"… I am so not getting involved," Atlantis sighed.

**Jumper File Two: "Valentine's Day"**

Dr. Zelenka pushed his glasses up his face, staring at the desk of Colonel Sheppard. Next to him, Major Lorne was trying (and failing) to not look amused. Sheppard himself was staring in disbelief at the pile of pink paper on top.

"… And you're telling me this all here when you came?" Zelenka asked. Sheppard sighed, picking up on and reading it aloud.

"'My darling, you gave me new life. I feel reborn every time you look over me. Be mine forever. Sincerely… Atlantis." Sheppard raised his eyes to the ceiling. "You could have just told me this, you know. Not like I don't feel it everytime… You know…" He trailed off with an embarrassed smile. Zelenka and Lorne smiled. The city was madly in love with the colonel. What wasn't there to smile about?

Another piece of paper spat from his printer, and John looked that one over. It too, was pink.

"What does she say, sir?" Lorne asked, grinning.

"This way is apparently more romantic according to Anya," John read aloud… His head slumping to the surface of the desk. "Gah…"

"'Do not fall for that brown haired tramp's schemes? Mine is the true heart?'" Zelenka read, adjusting his glasses as though that would let the letter make more sense. John groaned.

"'Always I long for your touch? Your smoldering thoughts echo throughout our link?'" Lorne read another, barely restraining a snicker.

"_Weir to Sheppard."_ The colonel stiffened, but answered.

"Yes Elizabeth?"

"_Care to explain why a drone with the words 'HANDS OFF MY MAN, BITCH!' written on it was shot through my window?"_ John winced at Weir's cold tone.

"Er… Not really?"

**Jumper File Three: "Counseling"**

"Honestly, I don't understand! Why does everyone call me a Fussbudget?! It's not like I enjoy making people unhappy-Well, the Wraith, and the Asurans- in fact I am trying to keep everyone happy! If a pilot crashes because I didn't instruct him well enough, then it's my fault, and everyone is unhappy! Especially the pilot. Maybe I just don't like being out of control, you know? My programmer was the same way, after his daughter became a hooker on an underdeveloped planet, and his wife was found having an affair with an _Aurora-_class battleship's captain. What was worse was that it was a _woman_ she was having an affair with, but still…"

Dr. Heightmeyer nodded, continuing to sit in her chair in front of Lucy's berth, continuing to listen to her life story… And desperately wished she had some of Dr. Zelenka's moonshine.

_And I thought being part Wraith was unique to human psychology…_

**Jumper File Four: "Late Night Party"**

Dr. McKay had been tossing and turning for hours it seemed. With a loud curse in Ancient, he finally got up, his eyes bloodshot and frightening. He staggered out of bed, stalked through the door to his quarters, and walked briskly in the direction of the Jumper bays.

The music that had been keeping him up grew louder, as he passed other sleepy residents of Atlantis on his way. Finally, he reached the doors to the Jumper hangar, and opened them. He was pushed back by the blast of music that greeted him.

"_This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill! Fifteen percent concentrated power of will! Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain! And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!"_ McKay staggered through the booming sounds of Fort Minor, gaping at the scene before him.

All of the Jumpers were weaving and bobbing to the music in their berths, save for Jumper 4, Domino, who had a boombox hooked into her main system and was projecting the music through her own, far more powerful speakers.

"_WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!"_ McKay roared. The music abruptly shut off. All of the Jumpers froze. Domino coughed.

"Uh… Dr. McKay! What a pleasant surprise!" Domino greeted cheerfully. McKay grimaced.

"Again… Just what the _hell_ is going on?!" The Jumpers didn't respond. Domino pressed on.

"Er, well… Fussbudget's off on a mission right now, and we just got this new boombox from one of the Marines, along with this music, and uh… Decided to have a party?" McKay stalked over to Domino, took the boombox, and glared back any groans or protests from the rest of the Jumpers.

"Some people are trying to SLEEP when you're having your PARTY, you know?! Including me!"

"We're sorry, Dr. McKay," the Jumpers chorused. The Canadian sighed.

"Couldn't you have just listened to it on your internal network?"

"But the walls wouldn't shake then!" Violet protested. McKay groaned.

"You know, you're all _well_ past the teenaged years…"

"Maybe _human_ teenaged years, gramps! Get down wit the times, homedog!"

Everyone stared in disbelief at Whisper. The Jumper had somehow gotten someone to paint what looked like gold jewelry on her hull.

"Dat's right, cracker! Ain't nothing you can do but move to the groove!" She went on.

"… I'm going to pretend I didn't just see that," McKay announced numbly. "Goodnight." With that, he walked slowly out of the bay, and the doors closed behind him.

"What's eating him?" Whisper asked.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Yes, Whisper's dialogue was intentionally incorrect ghetto-speak. Made it more surreal._

_If you'd like to contribute your own Jumper File, a short little skit involving our favorite girls, feel free to email me with it, and I will post it in the next chapter with your name on it! Until then, see you!_


	16. Jumper Files 2

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon and Chiara Hue

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper File Five: "Package"**

The 'Jumpers were understandably curious when a box showed up in the middle of the hangar one morning. Even more when their sensors couldn't penetrate it.

"You're doing it wrong! Allow me," Lucy stated, after the others complained about their sensors failing to look within the box. After several seconds, the other 'Jumpers waited expectantly.

"Well?"

"… Perhaps there's something wrong with my sensors?" Lucy suggested.

"HAH! So you can't see inside the box either!" Crowed Hoshi.

"Shut up!"

"Make me, Fussbudget!"

As Lucy and Hoshi began to argue furiously, Violet lifted up from her berth, moving closer to the box. She prodded it with her nose. The box didn't budge.

"EH?! This thing won't move!" THAT got the attention of all the Jumpers quickly. Neda came out of her own berth, inspecting the box with her own sensors.

"It seems to be a normal box, however our sensors cannot analyze anything more about it," she reported.

"Plus, it doesn't seem that we can move it," Domino added.

"What if it's a Wraith bomb!" Cried out Hoshi. "We have to warn everyone!"

"Oh calm down. If it was a bomb, why would they have left it in the Jumper bay and not in the ZPM room?" Asked Lucy.

"Maybe it's an Asuran trick," Anya posed thoughtfully. "We're kind of in the dark here."

"Atlantis, what is it?" Inquired Violet of the city. "Hello? Atlantis?"

"… I can't figure it out either! I've alerted John and Dr. Weir! Maybe we should begin an evacu-!-" The box glowed bright red. The Jumpers freaked.

"AUUGH! IT'S A BOMB!"

"WE'RE DOOMED!"

"SAVE THE EXPEDITION!"

Dr. Kusanagi entered the bay at that point, looking about. She blinked in disbelief as the Jumpers fretted about like frightened birds around the bay.

"Don't come any closer, Doctor! It's a… We don't know what it is, but don't go near it!" Violet shouted. Dr. Kusanagi smiled as her eyes found the box, and she headed for it.

"_There_ it is! Oh, don't worry everyone, it's okay…"

"Huh?" The Jumpers went collectively. Dr. Kusanagi opened the box, fiddled with a device inside, and picked it up within the box.

"I knew I left this Ancient device here… Did any of you figure out what it was?" Dr. Kusanagi asked. The Jumpers seemed to stare at her.

"… No…" They chorused.

"Oh… Well, we don't know what it is either. See you all later!" The Japanese scientist waved and headed off, leaving a bay full of confused Jumpers. On a screen in his office, Dr. McKay smirked, while Dr. Zelenka sighed and shook his head.

"You should not experiment on the Jumpers, Rodney," Zelenka admonished. McKay shrugged.

"Hey, you mess up my sleep cycle, you pay the consequences." The Canadian shook his head. "And honestly, who would get freaked out over an Ancient hard-light hologram projector?" Zelenka gave McKay a look. McKay coughed.

"Okay, I withdraw the question…"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_ARGH! Writer's block sucks! _


	17. Jumper Files 3

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon and Chiara Hue

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper File Six: "Valentine's Day: Part Two"**

"John, while I appreciate the fact that Atlantis is… Protective of you," Elizabeth began, the drone with the angry message still lying on her desk between them, "it would be nice if you told her to stop wasting drones." John blinked.

"Elizabeth, I think you know Atlantis well enough by now to know that she's, er…" Obsessed was probably not the best word to use here. "Very, er…"

"Smitten? Lovesick? Obsessive?" The expedition leader dryly pointed out.

Okay, maybe it _was_ a good word to use.

"Look, I've managed to convince her that blowing you up is at the top of the list of things that are _not_ okay," John said. "And you don't see any more drones flying through the windows, do you?" Elizabeth sighed, and glanced at the smashed porthole out of habit. She stiffened. John followed her gaze and blinked as well.

The Jumpers had arranged themselves above the city, using their drones to spell out "I LOVE JOHN". The colonel swore he could hear laughter all over the city.

"No. Not through the windows," Elizabeth observed, an impish smile on her face.

_Women… Gah._

_**Jumper File Seven: "Target"**_

"C'mon D! Tell me!"

___Primary communication output 00453. Specified recipient Track 0392 "Jumper 2"_

"No no no! Ancestors, that's not how you say it!" Hoshi groaned. She continued to approach the Daedalus, part of a training drill that had half of the Jumpers from Atlantis pretending to be Wraith ships so that the Earth starship's crew could get better for the next possible engagement.

"Give it up, Hoshi! Daedalus is just too simple!" Rei opined, looping about and evading simulated rail gun fire. Hoshi continued her mock attack passes, all the while feeding information to the Daedalus AI. As far as human computers went, even those based on Asgard and Goa'uld tech, Daedalus's systems were nearly nothing compared to even a Puddlejumper's. Obviously it was very difficult to take over electronically, and quite efficient at it's job, but the AI was like that of an insect's.

It could move, it could fight, it could scan, it could defend itself, it could communicate, it could manage its damage, and that was about it.

___Primary output 00453: Specified recipient Track 0392 "Jumper 2"_

___Input 332890233… Searching…_

"Besides, it's not like it could give you an opinion on what it was like for John to pilot it anyway!" Lucy added. Hoshi didn't respond… Before whooping in delight.

"HA! Input 332890233: Insufficient data! She hasn't had him at her controls long enough to know!"

"So?!"

"So, it's an opinion! Ha! I win!"

The Jumpers groaned, but had a laugh when Daedalus's crew used Hoshi's inquires to get a precise lock on her and take her out with a simulated missile.

_**Jumper File Eight: "Jumper or Gateship?"**_

The Jumpers would have been shaking in fear, or snarling in defiance, if they could manage it when two of the Asurans entered the bay. They were as smug as machines could be, which (as they well knew) was quite smug. One of them pressed a hand against the nose of Lucy, intent on interfacing with the imprisoned Jumper and learning it's secrets.

___Gateship Main Memory Override, 11001010-_

___Puddlejumper!_

The Asuran actually blinked.

___What?_

___I'm a Puddlejumper you sorry excuse for a Lego playset!_

___Cease this immediately! Gateship Primary Override, 1101-_

___Puddlejumper, you trashed server bus! Who the hell programmed you, an Iratus bug?_

The Asuran's eyes narrowed.

___Gateship-_

___PUDDLEJUMPER!_

___Gateshi-_

___PUDDLEJUMPER!_

___GATESH-_

___**PUDDLEJUMPERRRRRR!**_

The Asuran withdrew his hand, gritting his teeth. "Delete this one's AI." Angrily he stalked to the next Jumper.

___Gateshi-_

___Puddlejumper!_

The Asuran sighed_. __Why me?_

___**Jumper File Nine: "Fantasy Livestock"**_

"I must thank you again, Dr. Beckett, for your assistance," Teyla beamed, resting next to the Scottish doctor in her tent on the mainland. The doctor smiled back, wiping the sweat from his brow.

"Ah, was nothing lass. Believe you me, that herd-Er, well, flock, is gonna make things much easier around here."

"Where did you find these, uh… What did you call them again?"

"Chocobos," Beckett replied with a wry grin. "Nice world, M8H-33D. They'd domesticated them for, well, nearly everything. Their feathers make for good clothing, their eggs are wonderful food, and of course, they're bloody fast and strong."

A commotion was heard outside the tent, Carson and Teyla instinctively rising. Teyla went out first, eyes wary… Before she ducked back in with a small smirk.

"Something wrong, Teyla?" Carson asked worriedly.

"No, no… I believe Whisper is merely having some fun."

Outside, Whisper was hovering a bit off the ground, following a large flock of yellow, flightless birds around a wide fenced off area.

"Wark! Wark! Wark! Wark!" Whisper chanted in time with the chocobos, acting like one of the flock. Nearby, Neda and Anya watched from their landing spot on a hill.

"… Do I want to know what she's doing?"

"Are you willing to ask?"

Both Jumpers decided to keep quiet and continued to watch the bizarre spectacle. It grew even more bizarre as Whisper began to broadcast appropriate music as the flock of chocobos continued to run about.

___- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_

_____Chocobos are large, yellow, flightless birds featured in the Final Fantasy series of video games (which I also don't own), where they are used much like horses here on Earth. These chocobos look so much like those birds that the expedition members named them that. And Whisper, being a huge fan of video games, decided to have some fun. The music should be well known to FF fans, but if you don't know what I'm talking about, just search for a "Chocobo Theme" music file and you'll know what I mean._

_____Stay tuned for more Jumper Files!_


	18. Jumper Files 4

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon and Chiara Hue

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper File Ten: "Celebration"**

"YAAAAYYY!"

"WOOOOOO!"

"HOORAAYYYY!"

John and Rodney watched as half the Jumper fleet flew about above and around Atlantis, cheering happily and pulling off complex-looking aerobatic maneuvers.

"Um, Rodney, what are they doing?" Rodney shrugged and sighed.

"They're happy about the return of new episodes of Stargate Atlantis, starting April 13th."

John blinked.

"Stargate… Atlantis…? Rodney blinked.

"Eh? Atlantis?"

"Yeah, I mean, what do you mean, 'new episodes' of Stargate Atlantis? What is this, some kind of TV show?" Rodney blinked. John blinked.

"Oi oi oi! No breaking the fourth wall!" Whisper shouted, before flying off once more. John and Rodney shrugged.

"Meh…"

**Jumper File Eleven: "Martial Arts"**

"Ladies! We Jumpers must be more involved in battle!"

The Puddlejumpers shifted their attention to Lucy.

"Eh, what do you mean Fussbudget?" Hoshi asked. Lucy growled.

"STOP CALLING ME… Oh for… Look! We must learn how to fight to the point that we will be decisive against the Wraith AND Asurans!"

"And how do we do that?" Asked Anya, curious. Lucy flew up, dramatically producing a holographic screen in mid-air. A man in white clothing with a black belt appeared, doing punches and kicks.

"_Hiyah! Welcome to introductory karate, training episode one!"_

The Jumpers, if they had eyes, would have blinked.

"Uh… Fussbudget? We don't have arms. Or legs. So how can we learn karate?"

"Gah! It's not about that, you idiots! It's about achieving inner peace, tranquility, fighting with the mind!" Whisper whistled, drawing the rest of the Jumper's attention to her.

"Hey, everyone… Karate is for sissies! Let's learn ninjutsu!" With this, Whisper produced a hologram of a blond ninja clad in bright orange and blue, as a fast-paced song in Japanese played. Lucy snarled.

"NARUTO ISN'T REAL!"

"No, but it's better than learning how to kick or punch without legs or arms!" Whisper countered.

"Why you-! SHUT UP!"

"Make me, _dattebayo_!"

"GEEK!"

"Look whose talking!"

The rest of the Jumpers collectively sighed, before ignoring their squabbling sisters.

**Jumper File Twelve: "Leadership"**

"I, Violet, er… Puddlejumper, am a prime example of leadership skill and ability! And why?" The Jumper asked Dr. Heightmeyer eagerly, who was sitting in front of the Jumper's bay with a pen, paper, and dubious expression.

"Okay, why?"

"Because I am the Jumper of choice for Lt. Colonel Sheppard! I am his protégé! His appreantice! I learn all I can from him and benefit immensely from it!" Heightmeyer nodded.

"Okay, so… How do you handle being the leader?"

"It's tough work, but someone's got to do it. I've got to be strict, but fair! Approachable, but suitably distant! Watch!" Violet shifted her attention to Whisper in the next bay.

"Hey, Whisper! Give me an update of all Jumper's current status!"

"Sure." A short exchange of information later… And Dr. Heightmeyer could _swear_ that Violet twitched.

"Whisper… These are gaming ranks." Whisper hmmed affirmatively.

"Yes. You wanted a status report on the Jumpers-"

"NOT ON HOW HIGH A SCORE THEY GOT ON FROGGER!"

"Then you should have been more specific!"

"YOU IDIOT! WHY WOULD I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THOSE?!"

"Because that's usually the only kind of status you're interested in. Oh, by the way, I'm still number one."

"SHUT UP! BRAT! I'LL DEFEAT YOU ONE DAY!"

"I'll believe it when I see it," Whisper snorted, as Violet cursed. Dr. Heightmeyer staggered out of the bay, only to meet a concerned-looking Major Lorne.

"I need a vacation," she declared. Lorne chuckled.

"That your expert opinion, Doctor?"

A whack to the head with her clipboard was his reply.

- - - - - - - - - -

Sorry for the long time between updates everyone, but I've been distracted. Still, as soon as the new eps start rolling around on TV, I'll be back in business! Until then, R&R!


	19. Fish

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon and Chiara Hue

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper Fifteen: "Fish"**

_Sorry for the long time in between updates. Busy with other projects and so forth. Still, I'm glad to add on more Jumper Diaries! Here's the experience from 'Echoes' with our very own Domino!_

"I hate the ocean."

"I know, I know," McKay sighed.

"I also hate fish. Especially giant ones," I went on. McKay continued his work on my main control panel.

"I mean, we just got finished fixing the city after those dirty Asurans took it over! And _then_ we've got a _whale_ infestation!"

"Hey, they just wanted protection from the coronal mass emission," McKay argued.

"And you! You've been spending a lot more time on the whales than us! What, are we not good enough for you now?" I demanded.

All the 'Jumpers (and Atlantis) have been overjoyed to have our humans back (not to mention being freed and recovered from the Asuran's hacking). We could accept Doctor McKay not paying so much attention to all of us as to Atlantis herself, and Zelenka is just as capable! He recovered most of our AIs.

But even so…

"I've been busy! In case you hadn't noticed, there's a huge amount of work to still be done and I can't spend all my time fixing you!" McKay retorted angrily. I sigh, and am silent for a few minutes as Dr. McKay continues his work.

"Well, no damage from the proximity to the whales," he says at last, closing the maintenance window. He hesitates, and pats my control console.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I was just… Worried. I mean, the whales were… Doing all that to you, and…" I trail off, but I think he gets what I'm feeling.

We'd just gotten them back, and a bunch of stupid, giant, psychic/electromagnetic fish had tried to take them away again. All the 'Jumpers had been more than willing to go along with Colonel Caldwell's plan and kill them all. Violet and Anya had been ready to stage a mutiny and go after them ourselves.

"You were… Scared, huh?" McKay asks softly. He sits in the pilot's chair, and grips my interface handles. I feel his sincerity, that which he usually hides behind bluster, sarcasm and arrogance. I confirm it by sending back a sample of the emotions the 'Jumpers had been experiencing during the whole crisis. He shudders.

"Sorry," I say. "It's just… You're the best thing to ever happen to us, and, well…"

McKay smiled.

"Hey, relax. Um… We're not going anywhere. Promise."

I know he's sincere about it, but I can't help but wonder…

- - - - - - - - - - -

_I know, not very funny, but it occurs to me that the 'Jumpers, right after getting their humans back, would not want to be parted from them again so soon. Sorry if McKay's OOC here, but I like to think he'd drop his guard around Domino. Just a little...  
_

_I really need to catch up on this season, I've just been really busy. And yes, I know it's the 19__th__ chapter but this is the 15__th__ Diary, so it all works out. Anyway, next chapter will deal with the episode "Irresponsible"._


	20. Unimpressed

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper Sixteen: "Unimpressed"**

_Narrator: Whisper_

I establish the data link and begin to sort through the information it provides me. The coding is so simplistic it's painful.

"This is pitiful."

In my pilot's seat, John Sheppard smirked in amusement. Next to him sat Colonel Samantha Carter, looking over my readings. She blinked at my pronouncement.

"Pitiful?"

"Yes. This is all a complete rip-off of Ancient programming at least a million years old," I explain, pointing out the specific subroutines in the Ori computer system. "It's not even a good copy. There are so many programming errors I'm surprised the stupid ship hasn't had a breakdown."

Carter blinked.

"You're telling me… That the Ori battleships, which are so far completely invulnerable to any of our weapons, and were built using some of the most advanced technology in _the universe,_ are…?"

"Using Windows 95?" Sheppard quipped. Carter gave him a wry smile, as I checked my database.

"No, it's even worse than that. The system just keeps going along through the bugs, regardless of errors."

"Why haven't we picked any of this up before?" Carter asked. "We have hacked into Ori ships before…"

"Yes, but using human computers. Which can't pick up the bugs. Ancient programming bugs are different from your programming bugs. They don't show up unless you're using the proper type of system," I reported dutifully. Carter blinked.

"So, by our translating the Ori computer programming…?"

"We eliminated the bugs?" Sheppard finished, blinking. Carter gave him a look that clearly said '_we?'_

"Yes," I decide to answer. "Unfortunately, by recoding the programming you can't see the bugs and thus take advantage of them. It takes an Ancient computer to do that."

"Which, fortunately, we happen to have right now," Sheppard said with a smirk. "What kind of bug can you exploit, Whisper?"

I read through the data again, thankful that the Ori's followers are mostly ignorant of the complexities of the technology they use in the service of their false gods. Especially since the Ori battleship we're tailing, cloaked, in orbit around P2C-G66 is using very out-of-date Ancient sensor systems.

"Their shield activation system," I report. Carter's eyes lit up.

"You're _kidding…_ Really?"

"Yes. To be honest, the programming is embarrassingly simple. You just turn it on or off. No frequency adjustments, no extensive maintenance routines, aside from _one._ Which, as stated, simply turns the shields off." Which I proceeded to do. The entire power system went offline for the shields in the Ori battleship. Through the paltry security cameras I could see the bridge crew work through it, as the Prior frowned. His mental influence over the ship's systems was strong, but if the programs no longer worked as they should…

_I command the shields to return to normal._

In the network of the Ori battleship I continued on my way, ignoring the Prior's commands.

_The will of the Ori is that the shields return to normal._

I rewrote the programming to put smiley faces sticking their tongues out on every screen on the ship. I then uploaded an anime song from my files to broadcast on the ship's intercom.

_You dare defy the will of the Ori? Foolish machine! Abomination!_ He continued shouting at me.

_It appears you're not as dumb as you look,_ I replied at last, blowing the cyberspace equivalent of a raspberry. He seethed and extended his powers even further, lines of code bending to his will…

But for naught.

_See that? I found the programming that allows you to control the ship,_ I stated. _The Ori are a bunch of idiots, really. This isn't even 1718 bit encryption! What, they forgot everything they stole from the Ancients?_

_The… The Ori have graced us with gifts to combat evil. Begone, demon! Trouble us no further!_

_Begone yourself,_ I return. _I am the sword that cleaves EVIL! HIYAH!_

Sheppard fired eight drones, and they all blasted through the hull of the battleship, plunging into the reactor chamber. With a final raspberry, I disconnected the link… Just in time to watch the Ori battleship explode.

"Switching cloak to shield mode now," I said, and soon I was being knocked aft over bow by the shockwave. My pilots held onto the controls tightly as I managed to adjust my orbit and get us stabilized again.

"… Well, I'd have to call that mission a success," Sheppard said, a little too calmly considering what we'd just been through. Carter nodded with a grin.

"_Definitely,"_ the blonde woman agreed.

"So, that's two down, two to go right?" I asked. "Shall we take care of the others now?"

"We're out of drones, Whisper," Sheppard pointed out.

"So I am," I acknowledged. "Oh well, next time it is then."

As Lt. Colonel Sheppard takes us back down to the planet where the Stargate back to the SGC awaits, I can't help but add this.

Earth is a fun place to visit, but the rest of the galaxy is rather boring. Especially considering how easy it was to defeat an Ori ship. I think I'll let my sisters come here from now on. It's almost like a vacation from the Wraith…

"Oh no! I almost forgot!" I cursed. Carter and Sheppared looked expectantly at my control panel.

"There is _nothing_ my collossal blade cannot cut!" I declare dramatically, and if I had a face I would be smiling.

_Major Sanger would be so proud!_

"Okay, no more video games for you," Sheppard sighed. I decided to pout the whole way back home.

- - - - - - - -

_Obviously not a tag to a real episode, but definitely what the AIs of the Jumpers would probably have to say in regards to the Ori. And to be honest, I thought SG-1 needed some time with the girls._

_Super Robot Wars Fans will get the references to Whisper's battlecries and Major Sanger. Especially_ _Shukuen. Thanks for the review!_

_More Jumper escapades to come. Next chapter will deal with "Sunday"._


	21. Memory

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper Seventeen: "Memory"**

_Narrator: Rei_

As far as Puddlejumpers go, while Whisper is (relatively speaking) the youngest, I have always been treated like the baby of the fleet. Mostly because I am precisely ten thousand years old. I was the last Jumper created before the Ancients abandoned the city. I have a tendency to be quiet as compared to the other Jumpers. I don't like jostling my pilot or scaring my passengers.

And for some reason, my sisters take this as meaning I need more care and attention than the others. As though I'm the shy child my older sisters need to look out for.

"Are you going to be okay, Rei? Because I can call Dr. Heightmeyer." Fussbudget-I mean, Lucy, said. I _really_ wish I had some eyes to roll.

"Like how you've offered to call her for the last, oh… _twelve hours, twenty-three minutes, sixteen seconds?"_ I asked. I tried focusing on my computer golf game.

"Well, we're just concerned about you, since, you know…" Violet trailed off. I curse as I mess up my swing… Again.

"I know, I know… I'm _fine._ Look, I'm going flying. See you later." With that, I hack Atlantis's launch codes and take off into the sky. I really don't care that the controllers are trying to call me. I'm going to the mainland.

_Damnit, stupid Beckett… Stupid doctor… Stupid tumor… Stupid everyone!_

I fire my drones at a rock formation and take some satisfaction in the explosion that results. But not enough.

I'm so _angry…_ We were supposed to _go fishing!_ I mean, I'd never _been_ fishing! I didn't even know fishing existed until Doctor Beckett told me about!

Get a hold of yourself. Stop acting like a child. Blowing up the scenery is _not going to help._

I'm not the baby. I am calm and logical, the voice of reason when my sister's flights of fancy get out of hand. I don't act irrationally. I am cool and collected, the Puddlejumper you can count on. That's why Dr. Beckett often chose me as his ride. I wasn't overly responsive, I was patient, forgiving.

_Like Doctor Beckett…_

Stop thinking about him!

_But-!_

Humans die. It's a fact. They die and there is nothing I can do about it.

_If only I'd-_

I couldn't do anything! There was nothing _any_ of us could do! And he wasn't the only one to die! Why are you dwelling on him so much?

_Because he was _my_ pilot. He reactivated me. He brought us back._

What makes him different from other humans?

_Because they are all different. _

Well… Yes… They are…

_He was my pilot. Every time he took the controls, I learned a little more about him. His hopes, his dreams, his fears, his loves…_

He healed. He was compassionate and caring and funny and…

_And he's gone._

Like all other humans.

_We won't meet him again._

For an entity who could potentially live on for a thousand more years, this idea was… Distressing.

I flew back to Atlantis.

I shut off my communications system entirely when I arrived and sat in my berth in silence. I did tap the feed from the cameras covering the embarkation room. I watched the… Casket be taken through the event horizon.

_I will never see him again…_

I sat in the darkness for a long time after that, shutting down everything. Only my internal sensors were left online.

Forty-five minutes and nine seconds later, my rear hatch opened. I immediately identified the person responsible as Teyla Emmagan. She limped into my cockpit and sat down.

"May I be of assistance?" I asked politely. Teyla smiled sadly.

"Atlantis told me you watched the funeral."

I remain silent.

"There is no harm in expressing emotion," she went on. "In fact, he would be flattered to know he inspired such loyalty in you. That he left his imprint on you, while you knew him."

I remain silent for twelve seconds after that… Before opening a compartment and displaying a handheld computer unit.

"I wrote a letter to his family," I said. "I have edited it per top secret regulations." I pause. "I would… Like it if you could give it to them."

Teyla smiles gently, and pats my control panel. Though she has no gene, I still feel a reaction from her touch. Not like the ATA, but something… Different.

"I am sure they will appreciate it," she says at last.

_He has imprinted on me,_ I think. _He has left data behind…_

_I will not lose it. He will not be entirely gone. Even without new data… You will endure, Dr. Beckett. Through me, if by no other means._

- - - - - - - - - - -

_It occurred to me that I hadn't devoted a full chapter to Rei yet. So I decided to flesh out her background a little more. Just so you know, in this universe Rei was the Puddlejumper in the episode "Sateda"._

_Next chapter will also be a tag to "Sunday", but a more light-hearted one.  
_


	22. Rocks and Shoals, Part 1

The Puddlejumper Diaries

The Puddlejumper Diaries

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: _Stargate: Atlantis,_ and all associated nouns (people, places, and things) are the property of MGM and the SciFi Channel. I don't own squat.

**Jumper Eighteen: Rocks and Shoals, Part 1**

_Narrator: Violet_

It had been a rough end of the year for all of us. Dr. Beckett dead, the possibility of Dr. Weir being replaced with a new commander-All of it hung heavily over the members of the expedition. But I have to admit, despite all of this my fellow Jumpers and I had been in relatively high spirits.

The Asurans were dealt with, nuked into oblivion. Anya had done the reconnaissance over Asuras with Colonel Sheppard, confirming the destruction the _Apollo_ had wrought. The Replicators, as the humans called them, had been wiped out. We had nothing to fear from them anymore, and the Wraith were fighting amongst themselves as usual.

It was looking like things could only go up from here.

Then the Asurans struck back. And it looked like we were, in a word, screwed thanks to their satellite weapon.

Fussbudget had contacted Dr. Weir and requested that we go up and try to take out the satellite weapon ourselves-There were few shield technologies that drones could not get through. But she had vetoed it-The Asurans had Ancient technology the same as we did, and there was no guarantee we could destroy the satellite.

So, it was decided that Atlantis would leave the planet and head for somewhere else. Atlantis herself agreed with this… Most of the Jumpers? No so much.

"Look, running away like this is dangerous," Fussbudget had tried to communicate to Doctor Weir. "With _one_ ZPM, our calculations indicate that such a move has, at best, a twelve point two percent chance of success. _Twelve point two._ Do you know what that means?"

"Yes, I know," Dr. Weir had replied, sparing some time to see us in our bay. That was very nice of her, actually-She almost never comes up here to see us.

"There are other options… You could let us go out, take it down for you," Fussbudget suggested. "Domino, Violet and Hoshi and Rei have networked with me and we believe there is as much as a thirty nine point nine seven percent chance we could modify our drones to pierce through the Asurans' shields."

"I've talked to Rodney and Radek about it," Weir said, crossing her arms over her chest with a pained expression on her face. "It's likely the Asurans prepared the satellite weapon for such action."

"Yes, _likely._ Not _for sure,"_ Fussbudget emphasized. "There are other possibilities! You could use a 302 to hyperjump a weapon through the shield!"

"Actually, there is only a zero point zero zero zero zero four chance that that could be a viable action," Whisper pointed out in her usual flat tone. "One, a 302's hyperspace generator is not precise enough to target such a small area. Two, even if we could make it that precise, an active Stargate with that much power pouring through it is nearly as rigid as a small star. Finally, the weapon would have only a nanosecond, at best, to reach critical mass and detonate before being destroyed by the beam. Even a mark-nine needs three nanoseconds to reach critical mass."

"You didn't do the numbers correctly!" Hoshi protested.

"She did," Rei said miserably. "No matter how many times we run the numbers it will not change facts."

"It is our only viable option right now, ladies… And while I appreciate your attempts to offer alternatives…" Weir shrugged, letting a bit of her inner helplessness show. "It's all we've got."

She took a deep breath. "What I need from you is support… Can I have that?"

"Well, sure," Violet said. "You always have that, Dr. Weir."

"You're our leader, even if we aren't, ya know, officially part of the expedition," Neda added.

"You can count on us to do whatever you need us to do!" Anya declared.

"Right!"

"Yeah!"

"You got it!"

The smile on her face, despite her sleepless appearance, was definitely morale boosting. She'd taken so much flak for her decisions from the IOA but in the end, she had stuck to her guns and taken responsibility for her choices like a real leader should.

We Jumpers would follow her, period. Even if we were heading into Hell itself.

- - - - - - -

_Part 2 to follow_


End file.
